Walk
by allialli
Summary: you don't know how precious something is until you lose it... and even then it can be tough to realize
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

* * *

**Walk**

**_by allialli_**

They were driving down an unlisted road. Well, HE was driving down the unlisted road. She was sitting in the passenger's seat, trying to fall asleep but not having much success because every few seconds, they (HE) hit a huge pothole. Agent Scully had not been looking forward to investigating a case out in the middle of Nowhere, Nebraska, and her hesitance had been rewarded. Mulder had assured her that this was some rare astrological time period in which UFO sightings were attributed. She had assured Mulder that they (HE) would end up empty-handed. She had won. But it was a lose-lose battle that she was fighting with the paranormal.

"Mulder, would you please not _aim _for the huge holes in the road?" Scully asked, her tone clearly representing her emotions. Mulder didn't pay any attention. He didn't have to be told that she was pissed off. That was why they hadn't been speaking much on the way to the airport.

"Sorry," he said somberly, even though everything in him was fighting and yelling back.

_You can catch more flies with honey…_ Mulder thought to himself. Scully just sighed. That meant only one thing: it was time for "the rant."

"We wouldn't even be out here dodging potholes if you had listened to me in the first place. I can't even believe you would actually believe some mental case from the middle of nowhere over me! Just because he told you he saw some lights in the sky… And so what if it culminates with this astrological event? You know and I know that that's nothing but a bunch of bologna. If only you could see that…"

"Scully, it's been a long, disappointing day. I'd appreciate it if you saved this for some other time, perhaps after I've had a full night's sleep," he calmly told her.

"You could have had all the sleep you wanted, but no. We had to follow some lunatic theory of your's out here, and… Mulder!" Scully shouted. She had been shouting before she said his name, but it came out the loudest. Something had darted in front of their rental car. A deer, maybe. Maybe some insignificant animal such as a squirrel that each one of them inevitably hit every day living in DC. But it had been a long, disappointing day, and neither of them could tell what darted in front of their car.

Instinctively, Mulder swerved. Even if it was a squirrel, there was that chance that it could be a deer, and he had refused the renter's insurance on the car. And that was something that he really didn't want to deal with…

And how was Mulder supposed to know that he swerved the car violently enough to flip it? And, furthermore, how was he supposed to know that, even though they had been driving past empty cornfields for the past hour and a half, when he flipped the car, he would flip right into a tree? And how was Mulder supposed to know that when he flipped into that tree, it wouldn't be his side pinned up against it?

It would be his partner's.

How was he supposed to know all these things?

He didn't, so he swerved the car, causing it to flip right into a tree with Scully's side pinned up against it.

The perfect way to end a long, disappointing day.


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

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Hanging upside-down. That was a new feeling for him. He never cared for it much, and didn't do it often as a kid. Samantha had always been the one who liked hanging upside-down. From trees, from the top bunk, from the monkey bars…

Why am I hanging upside-down? he asked himself. Something was trickling down his face. Rain? No, it hadn't been raining.

It hadn't been raining in Nowhere, Nebraska, when he swerved to avoid hitting the deer that could have possibly been a squirrel. It hadn't been raining when Scully shouted his name…

Scully.

He became a single-minded person.

"Scully?" he asked, wiping the rain(?) from his face. He was hanging upside-down and knew he needed to get himself right-side-up if he wanted to help Scully. She had been sitting right next to him. Where did she go? Did she already crawl out? "Scully!" he shouted this time, worried that she hadn't crawled out yet. The rain(?) that was dripping down his face he decided was blood. After he struggled himself out of the seatbelt, he noticed a wide gash on his cheek. Other than that, he felt okay, but wasn't really in a position to assess himself quite yet.

Then he noticed. He had been looking on the wrong side of himself. The remnants of a door and other debris were all that his sight could offer. They (HE) had flipped the car, and it wasn't his side that ended up pinned against the tree.

It was his partner's.

And even though it was dark, when he looked to his left, he wasn't prepared for what he was about to see.

His partner, who had stood by him for six years, body twisted into some mathematically impossible shape. Her legs seemed almost detached from her body, her back having been crushed by the top of the car, and the rest of her bloody and bleeding.

Her head was against the window.

"Scully!" he shouted, in a way much like she had shouted is name before this had happened. He hoped, for her sake, that she was unconscious, because he couldn't imagine her going through that much pain.

And then a lump formed in his throat.

She could be more than just unconscious. He quickly and not-very-carefully moved toward her.

"Scully," he whispered, tears (not rain or blood) trickling down his cheeks. The saltiness may have burned his wound, but he couldn't feel anything. He touched her face with his fingers and they made their way down her neck. He was checking for a pulse. He was praying for a pulse.

"Come on, Scully," Mulder encouraged her, placing his fingers on her like he had seen her do to so many. He needed to find that she still had life. If she died, part of him would die too.

Even though Mulder didn't believe in God, he praised Him and everything affiliated with him when he found a faint beating. It was weak, but she had a pulse. Scully was still alive. And Mulder wouldn't let her die.

Though he had not been careful with himself moving around the wrecked car, Mulder felt he could not be cautious enough with Scully. Her seatbelt had been torn in the crash, and she lay quiet between the door frame and the top of the car. He gently picked her up, mapping out a possible exit where the windshield used to be. He noticed, when he gathered his partner in his arms, that her lower half felt like broken glass. Shattered. He didn't have time to deal with that, though, because he didn't know (still) exactly how the car had hit the tree and if they were going to go bursting into flames any second. Mulder didn't want to die that way, but he especially didn't want Scully to die that way.

Mulder knew if he went to church every Sunday and said a million prayers every day for the rest of his life, he still would never be able to thank God for giving him the power to get out of that car. Maybe it wasn't really Mulder that God was helping, though. Maybe it was Scully. She was the devout one, after all. It didn't matter, though. At that point, Mulder thought that God helping Scully was the most appropriate choice for God (or any god, because he wasn't sure who was listening: Ala, Buddha…) to make. Her life mattered much more than his.

He cut his leg on a piece of metal on the way out. He didn't mind. In a car accident, it couldn't be all nice and clean. Which reminded him to wipe his partner's face. It was messy with blood. It scared him.

Once he was sure they weren't in immediate danger of an explosion, Mulder sat down in the soft grass and put Scully in his lap. He debated whether or not to wake her up. He didn't want her to be in so much pain. But he also wanted to make sure that she would be able to wake up. He didn't know what had collided with her body. There was a large gash running from her forehead to her lip, several other less severe (but just as bloody) gashes around the rest of her body. And then there were her back and legs… they had betrayed her.

"Scully… Scully please wake up. Please wake up for me, Scully," Mulder started pleading, deciding that he was not certain enough to let her stay in her own unconscious world where there wouldn't be any pain. If he could wake her up now, then she might be able to wake up on her own later. He couldn't rob her of that chance.

Mulder was able to remember, despite his efforts to wake Scully up, that he needed to call help. He needed to get his cell phone. Miraculously (that's the only thing it could have been) it was still in his front pocket. And it still worked.

"9-1-1, can I help you?" the operator came on.

"I'm Fox Mulder. I'm an FBI agent, and my partner and I have just been in a very serious car accident. I'm fine, but she's not waking up and I think she may have broken her back. I need help!" Mulder tried to explain.

"Where are you, Agent Mulder?" the operator asked.

"I don't know! Somewhere out in Nebraska. Look, just trace this call and send somebody to help us. My partner… she's bleeding a lot and…" he couldn't finish. He cried for the operator.

"Don't hang up, Agent Mulder, I'm tracing the call right now. Apply pressure to any of your partner's wounds. Try to wake her up."

"I'm trying!" Mulder yelled.

"Don't hang up. I'll stay on the line with you until somebody gets there," the operator assured him. But Mulder didn't want to talk. He set the phone in the grass while he tried anything he could to get Scully to open her eyes.

"Pleeeaseeee, Scully, just say something. Just let me know that you're okay," he begged, resting her head in his lap. He didn't know where to apply pressure to first. There was so much blood… so many places for him to stop her bleeding. Finally, he did the only thing he could think of doing. He took his $250 suit jacket off and wrapped it around her. He checked her pulse again. Still faint.

"Don't die on me, Scully," he found himself saying. He wasn't able to speak anymore. Tears were falling all too freely now, and he swore up and down that he would do anything for the woman that lay in his arms. And that's when he made "the plea."

_God (or Ala, or Buddha, or whoever… it's not really important), it's Mulder. Maybe you'd be more familiar with Fox. Anyway… I need you to help Scully here. Maybe you'd be more familiar with Dana. She's always believed in you, God, even though she wasn't always the most faithful to her religion. Look, she wears that cross around her neck. She always wears that thing. I even wore it once. That's gotta mean something… Okay, so I know I'm not the one to be making pleas right now. In fact, I'm probably the last person you should be listening to. But just hear me out. This isn't for me. This is for Scully--Dana. She's my partner, God, but she's a lot more than that. She's my best friend and, on some levels, I'm pretty sure she's my soul mate. I love her, God, and I would do anything for her. You can't take her just yet. There's so much that she still has to do. But God… my life isn't nearly as important as her's. I've been doing the same thing since I was 12, and I'll probably never stop. I'll always be the same person. I've got nothing compared to what she has. She has a family that loves her (not to mention a brother who would kick my ass if she died, and I wouldn't blame him). Me? I have a mother who lives by herself and wants to keep it that way. I have a sister who may or may not be alive. She has so much, God, so if you absolutely have to take somebody tonight… take me. Don't rob her of this life. It'd be so much easier just to take me…_

Mulder waited to be stricken dead. He was sure that God couldn't refuse him this. Offering his life in exchange for Scully's. Maybe God was impressed. Because the next thing that happened was certainly attributable to divine intervention.

"Mulder?" Scully asked, opening her eyes slowly and wincing from the pain.

* * *

**ok... so it's called scully-angst... and i'm pretty much the queen of it**


	3. Chapter 3

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

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"Mulder?" she asked again, but Mulder was unable to speak. He wasn't used to his prayers being answered. He wasn't used to the all-powerful beings being on his side.

"Scully… are you okay?" he managed to get out. He could tell her eyes were cloudy and she was fighting to stay conscious. She started shaking her head, trying to look around at where she was. She was panicking. Mulder put his hand to her forehead, brushing the wet and sticky hair from her face. He hoped he would calm her down and tried to avoid the large gash that marred her.

"What happened? What's going on?" she asked, frightened. Even Scully's resolve had been worn, and Mulder wondered whether she had a head injury. That wasn't important, though. What was important was that Scully was alive, awake, and in his arms. Unconsciously, Mulder rocked back and forth to soothe her.

"We hit a tree, Scully, but we're going to be alright. Help is coming, and we're going to be fine," he assured her. Or was he assuring himself?

"Mulder?" Scully asked again, but Mulder felt he knew what her concern would be.

"I know, Scully, I didn't get renter's insurance on the car. I'm sorry, I should have--"

"No, Mulder," Scully interrupted, and she looked like she wanted to laugh. Instead, she closed her eyes and spoke very slowly.

"Your cheek…" she told him, reaching her hand up from under his jacket to touch him. She didn't even know about her own wounds, and she was worried about his. Mulder found that ironic, considering he was praying for her to wake up not five minutes ago. He was more concerned for her than he was for himself, and she was the opposite. Together, they would be fine, but apart… Mulder realized as long as that was what was going on, he could never be apart from this woman.

"I'm okay, Scully. It doesn't even hurt," he said, wincing at the damage that was done to her body that she wasn't even aware of.

"Don't lie to me, Mulder."

"I'm not… Are you hurt?" he was afraid to ask.

"I don't know. I'm… I feel numb."

"You're probably just cold," he sighed, relieved, trying his best to hold her closer.

"Yeah, probably," she said, and Mulder couldn't tell whether or not she was saying that just to assuage him. Scully mentally leaned back into him, and he felt it. It was the best sign of trust she could give him, considering that she was growing more and more tired and hadn't been particularly happy with him before they crashed. All that was to be forgotten. Because, in the larger picture, she knew her partner loved and cared about her more than either of them could put into words. That's why they never said it. Because they always knew.

He felt when she drifted back into sleep. Not sleep, some sort of concussion. A new wave of fear crashed over him.

"Scully," he shook her slightly, "please don't fall asleep. Please stay awake."

"It's… okay," she managed to get out before she was totally out. Mulder took hold of her hand and tried to give her every single bit of strength and survival he had left. There was no other option in his brain. If somebody had to die that night, it would be him.

* * *

"Over here!" Mulder yelled when he saw flashing lights. He still held Scully in his arms, and his own tears had mixed with the blood that covered her. The tender, loving part of him told him to be quiet, so he wouldn't wake her up from her nap. But he yelled as loud as he could until a paramedic and a police officer had reached him.

"Were you the only two in the car?" the police officer asked.

"Yes. Please help her. She was talking and then she was out. I can't wake her up. Don't let her die," Mulder told the paramedics.

A coldness spread through him when they lifted his partner out of his arms. Everything was becoming a blur. The officers were asking him questions and the paramedics were leading him toward their ambulance, but his eyes never left Scully. His gaze never moved from her tiny, broken body as they put her on a stretcher and carried her away. When he couldn't see her any more, he felt he would panic. Nothing was getting through to him but the irresistible urge to find her.

"Sir… Sir!" the paramedic yelled as he blatantly walked away while being stitched up. Mulder didn't hear him, though. He heard the pounding in his heart, and the screech of the tires in his mind, but he could not hear the paramedic standing ten feet away from him.

There were two ambulances, and Mulder was determined to leave one empty.

"I need you to calm down, Sir," the officers and the paramedics both said as he tried to climb in the back of Scully's ambulance. He saw her tiny, broken body once more. It was covered by blankets instead of his jacket. Her neck was in a brace, and there was a tube in her left arm. They had taken off her shirt and attached monitors to her chest. This was not his Scully, but he had to be there in case she came back.

"Don't you know who that is?" Mulder asked, surprisingly calm.

"Sir, we need you to be seen by the paramedics."

"That is my partner! She leaned back in my arms! I am NOT leaving her!" Mulder shouted, not understanding why they thought he didn't understand.

"We're taking you two to the same place--"

"NO! I will NOT leave her! She's never left me, I can't just walk away now. I'm riding with her to the hospital."

"Sir--"

"I'm STAYING!" Mulder screamed, climbing in the back himself. Nobody stopped him this time. He grabbed hold of Scully's free hand and they rode like that to the hospital.

He never left her side once. Not even when she flat lined halfway there and they had to pull over and use the defibrillator. He kept himself connected to her, in mind and body and spirit, always calling for whoever had allowed to wake up the first time to allow her to wake up again. To allow her to live. To allow his life to be sacrificed for her's, if that's what was called for.

He couldn't let her die if the last thing she had told him was that she was fine. He pleaded with her to hold on.


	4. Chapter 4

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

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"Fox. Fox! Fox, where is she?" Maggie Scully demanded to know as she rushed into the ICU. It had been a long six hours since she heard that her daughter was laying unconscious in a hospital in Nowhere, Nebraska, after almost dying in a car accident. She had feared that her daughter would lose her life many times, but never like this. Never in something as simple as a car accident. That wasn't the way her Dana was supposed to die.

Mulder had been sitting by his partner's bed all night. After he arrived at the hospital, he had been forced to sit down and get his stitches finished. Then he had gone down to the surgical ward to wait for Scully. There was extensive internal damage done to her. Three of her ribs had been broken, there were many contusions around her head and neck area, and where her back met her hips had been completely shattered. She had lost so much blood that they weren't even sure that she was going to make it.

But that was his Scully. She pulled through.

When she was moved to intensive care, the doctors told Mulder that he could not go in because he was not immediate family. But Mulder put up such a fight (all he could do was fight; she would have fought for him) that the doctors on the floor allowed him in there. Besides the surgery, he was away from Scully for half an hour. But Mulder gripped her hand after he was allowed in, determined to give her some of his life. She was pale and her tiny hand limp was cold in his.

"Mrs. Scully," Mulder started, nodding to her daughter, who lay peacefully before them. She was covered in gauze and bandages and Mulder's life. It had been pouring from him. Maggie almost fainted at the sight. Her strong, independent daughter was clinging to life. Because of something as simple as a car accident.

"Oh, Fox," Maggie broke down, rushing over to her daughter and sitting down in the chair Mulder vacated for her. Her sobs were not small, pitiful ones. They were loud, desperate, grieving sobs. It was like she had already lost Dana. Mulder wanted to tell her what the doctors had been telling him ever since she had come out of surgery. _"It's just a matter of time_," and, _"It's up to her now," _but he couldn't. He truly believed that that was just their way of saying they had done all they could for her. And he wanted to think there was more.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think to even utter, and reached to rub her back. Maggie pulled away, though.

"You're sorry? You're sorry, Fox? Why are you sorry? Are you telling me that this was somehow your fault?" Maggie asked frantically. She loved Mulder and knew what a big part of her daughter's life he was. She knew that he would never hurt her. But she needed somebody to blame. And she still didn't understand what exactly was going on.

"Mrs. Scully… it was a car accident, but yes, I was driving," Mulder hated to tell her.

"_You? You_ were driving? And then what? Just driving down the road, you decided to swerve your car into a tree? Did you even think about my Dana, Fox? Did you ever _once _think about her? I thought you cared about her! How could you let something like this happen?" Maggie yelled. She had stood up and Mulder realized she was only a little taller than Scully. Still, he felt as if he were standing next to a giant. Her eyes were so fierce.

"Mrs. Scully--"

"No, Fox, I'm tired of your excuses."

"Mrs. Scully… you have to believe me, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt your daughter."

"Yet here she is. She always ends up here. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. Why does this keep happening?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Scully… there was something in the road… it was instinct."

"Your instincts have landed my baby girl here one too many times," Maggie spat, and it cut through Mulder's heart like a knife. Scully's health and well-being were not things he took lightly. Every time she was hurt or sick, he felt responsible. He still felt responsible for Melissa. He knew the cancer was his fault. He always tried to protect her, but sometimes he felt it had the opposite effect. He should have been the one lying there, not Scully. But she always paid the price for his quest. Maggie wasn't the first one that had ever brought that to his attention.

"Mrs. Scully," Mulder lowered his head, eyes becoming blurry, "I did what I did to keep her from getting hurt."

"She's hurt, though, Fox. She's hurt, and that's not something we can change," Maggie told him, sitting down and taking her daughter's hand again. She said it in a calm, but final tone, and Mulder saw that the only fit thing to do was to leave the room. He had had enough of the truth for one night, even though he always believed it would save them.

* * *

"Fox?" Mulder heard some time later. After he had retreated to the hallway, he had lost all sense of time and being. He couldn't hear, see, or smell what was around him. All he could do was think. About how right Mrs. Scully had been. And how determined he was to change what she said he could not. He owed that to Scully.

Mulder opened his eyes and lifted his head from his hands. The mother of his partner was standing before him, looking as haggard as he was sure he did. But there was something else on her face… a strength that he had seen in Scully many times before. It encouraged him, this strength, but sometimes he worried about what it would do to him, especially if he failed.

"I thought you'd want to be in there with Scul-- Dana," he said, taking in a big breath and moving over on the small plastic couch for her.

"She's not going anywhere," Maggie said, sitting down next to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes, wondering what they should say.

"Mrs. Scully, I really--"

"Shhhh, I know. I'm sorry for what I said back there, Fox. It wasn't at all what I really think, it was just my emotions."

"No. You were totally right, Mrs. Scully. She always pays the price for me."

"It's a price she's willing to pay."

"But it's not a price I'm willing to let her pay. She deserves so much more than me. All I do to her… is this."

"Are you really that clueless, Fox?" Maggie asked with a hint of mirth in her tone.

"About what?"

"You don't think that my daughter would just follow anyone around, do you? You may have asked yourself why Dana doesn't request a transfer. I mean, I know that you and her don't exactly agree on everything. Fox… my daughter loves you. I'm not sure how or how much, but I know that she loves you. And she'd do anything for you. You both… you sacrifice so much for each other. It's something more than just respect, Fox. I believe, with the deepest part of my heart, that my Dana is connected to you in more than just a professional way. And Fox, I want to thank you for that. You give her a chance to use her heart; remember that it's there," Maggie spoke, speaking confidently. It sounded to Mulder like she had recited that more than once, and it was probably a relief for her to tell him that.

"I love your daughter, Mrs. Scully. She is my best friend. I know she must feel the same way because that's the only way I can justify her staying. But… she trusts me with her life and look where it lands her…"

"Fox, I know this was an accident."

"It should have been me back there, Mrs. Scully," Mulder got louder, not really hearing the woman next to him. "It should have been me, Dana doesn't deserve this. And you know what? I prayed. I prayed, even though I don't believe in God. I prayed that He would take my life instead of her's. The blood and her body scared me, and I just prayed that if somebody had to die, that it would be me."

"And that's what I'm talking about. Dana may not always stay safe and unharmed, but she always has you. It gives me great relief knowing that she has a friend like you looking out for her, who would make that sacrifice for her."

"But just because you ask God to do that doesn't meant that it will happen. And, Mrs. Scully, if your daughter dies… I may die too."

"Fox, at this point, we should not focus on dying. We should focus on living. Convince Dana to…"

"I will."


	5. Chapter 5

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

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"Scully…" he started, later that night. Maggie had fallen asleep on the couch outside of her room. That gave him some alone time to talk to his partner. He believed she would be able to hear him, but she wouldn't have a chance to respond. That was how he wanted to, needed to, talk to Scully at that moment. No interruptions, not even from her.

"Scully, it's Mulder," he told her, taking her hand, "and you're in the hospital right now. You had to have surgery because you almost died on me on the way here. We were in a car accident… it was my fault. I don't know if you remember this, but we had a fight just before it all happened… and I think that was my fault too. You don't know how sorry I am. I take you for granted, Scully. I lead you on these wild goose chases, oblivious to the fact that it's a miracle for you even to follow me. And then when it all goes wrong, I'm not the one who suffers. You suffer. You lie here in a bed like this, and I sit here and hold your hand. You always make it through, but I never think about what would happen if you didn't make it through, or you didn't follow me, until I am told you may not. And seeing you flat line earlier… I just need you to be strong…" he broke down. He had never been more scared in his life.

Mulder sat there for a few minutes, holding Scully's hand and crying. He had always been a little more free with his tears than she was.

"Mr. Mulder?" he heard from the doorway. A nurse was standing there, trying to pretend she didn't notice his tears. Mulder sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked, taking a deep breath.

"Dr. Reinan would like to speak to you about Miss Scully's condition," she explained.

"Alright," Mulder said, giving Scully's hand a quick kiss and getting up to talk to the doctor. It was nearing midnight, and the doctor had said after 24 hours, they would know something.

Outside the door, Maggie was nodding sadly. Dr. Reinan was sitting on the couch next to her, trying to be friendly. Mulder had discovered that when doctors did this, they usually didn't have the greatest of news. He was, after all, a psychologist.

"Fox, come sit down," Maggie told him, patting a seat next to her. When Mulder obeyed, she threw her arms around his neck and cried. Mulder rubbed her back, but it was hard to console her when he didn't know what was going on himself.

"Mrs. Scully…" Mulder whispered.

"I'm sorry," she said, letting go of him, "just listen what the doctor has to say, alright? Listen to everything that he has to say. I'm going to visit Dana."

With that, Mulder knew that whatever the doctor had just said was the opposite of what he wanted to hear at that point. He didn't even want the truth. He wanted a sugar-coated version of it. It was so hard for him to see his partner, so strong and able, laying there almost dead. _Lie to me, tell me anything to make the pain go away!_

"Mr. Mulder," Dr. Reinan started, stiffening up and becoming more professional. There was nothing to hold back from now. Maggie had pretty much assured Mulder knew what he was going to hear. There was no use being comforting now. In the end, it would probably just make the FBI agent mad.

"Yes?"

"Your partner, Agent Scully, has some very serious injuries. I understand that she was sitting on the side of your car that was pinned against a tree?"

"Yes," it pained Mulder to admit.

"Umm… I'm afraid the news I have to tell you is not good news. We said we would observe her for 24 hours after the surgery before we could tell anything. The fact that she hasn't woken up yet isn't very surprising. After a trauma like this, I wouldn't consider it abnormal if she stayed in this state for a few more days. On the other hand, we would like to see her wake up as soon as possible. If she isn't conscious in the next 72 hours, we'll have to assume that she sustained brain damage either from her injuries or from her heart stopping.

"The most serious thing, I'm afraid, is the damage that was done to her spinal chord and lower back. You see, they were crushed in the accident. There was damage to every bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, you name it, from her waist all the way down. Even if--"

"When," Mulder felt it important to add.

"_When_, she wakes up… Miss Scully will find that she cannot move the lower half of her body. I'm sorry, but chances are good, after the extent of her injuries, that Miss Scully will remain a paraplegic for the rest of her life."

That last sentence cut to the very core of Mulder's heart, which belonged to Scully. Basically what the doctor was saying is that it was a lose-lose situation for them. Either Scully would wake up to find she was paralyzed from the hips down, or she would not wake up at all. Either one would kill her, and, in turn, kill him.

"Uhh… you said chances were good…" Mulder trailed, trying to hold back tears.

"Yes, they are good."

"How good?"

"Very good, Agent Mulder."

"So you're telling me that she'll never walk again?"

"I'm sorry," the doctor said, patting Mulder's shoulder. He couldn't stand it, though.

"You're basically giving up all hope for her?"

"Agent Mulder, you have to be realistic--"

"Haven't you ever seen a miracle? Haven't you ever seen things you can't explain? Don't you think it's a little early to be telling me that there's no hope left?"

Dr. Reinan opened his mouth to say something, but Mulder stormed back into Scully's room before he had the chance to say it. Mulder was certain he didn't want to hear anything that man had to tell him, anyway.

* * *

"Fox?" Maggie asked when she saw him come into the room, disgruntled. She had been having a serious chat with her youngest daughter. About love, life (about how it was not over), and how much it meant that she was a Scully.

"You actually listened to that man?" Mulder asked, about ready to hit something.

"I did. I take it you didn't."

"I heard everything he had to say."

"I know this is painful for you, Fox. It's extremely painful for me as well."

"Pain has nothing to do with it, Mrs. Scully! That doctor just sat out there and told me there was no hope left for Dana. He told me that she may never wake up, and that she would most definitely never be able to walk again."

"Well, Fox… that could very well be the case."

"No. No, that can't be it, Mrs. Scully. There's always something else. There's always another way. I'll cut off my own legs and give them to her if I have to, but I cannot accept that man sitting there and giving up hope on my partner. She has more of a future than just a wheelchair."

Maggie broke out in a smile when she heard his rants. Yes, her Dana could be strong on her own, but now she knew why this man was the only man she would let see her at her weakest times. Mulder always had hope, or liked to believe that there was hope. He never gave up.

"You're absolutely right, Fox."

"We can't have that doctor telling her that…"

"Don't worry about her reaction. It'll most likely be the same as your's. I need you to do something for me, though."

"What's that?"

"I need you to stay the way you are. In your frame of mind. When Dana wakes up, she's going to hear this, and she's going to be resistant just like you are. Over time, though, that might not be the case. She may start to believe those people that are telling her she won't walk. Don't let her believe them. Always be that person that keeps her believing," Maggie explained, and as she did, she wept. Mulder hugged the woman that was the mother of the most important person in his life. He had so many things to thank her for. One small thing she could have done differently while raising her daughter, and everything could have been different. He was thankful to her that she had created a child the way she had. If she hadn't, then he didn't know where he would be.

"That will be the easiest promise for me to keep," Mulder told her. She was crying, but Mulder really didn't know how she always knew what to say.

"And, I know I'm asking a lot of you, but could you do me one more favor?" Maggie asked.

"Sure."

"She is my only daughter now, and the thought of losing her… Please, Fox, help me to stay strong as well."


	6. Chapter 6

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

* * *

The first thing he did after Maggie drifted off to sleep was talk to Dana. He talked for hours, telling her that things were going to be okay and she would prove them wrong. When he was talking, he only called her Dana. Scully could be saved for some other time. He always knew that Dana was different from Scully.

Mulder didn't realize he was being watched until the person watching him let out a cough. Maybe just a cough that couldn't be helped. Maybe a purposeful cough that would let him know he was there. Did he really sound that sad? Either way, when this watcher let out a cough, Mulder bolted himself around to find that Bill Scully had entered the room. In his Navy uniform. Eyes not focused on his little sister, but on the man who had just been talking to her and comforting his mother and being indifferent to the situation.

"Hello," was all Mulder could manage to muster. When he saw the glare in Bill's eyes, he was surprised he could even get out that much. Bill Scully was one of the only people in the entire world that scared Mulder, because he knew that if put in the situation, Scully would chose Bill over him. And he needed Scully.

"What did you do to her?" he asked, eyes cold.

"I didn't do anything, Bill. We were in an accident--"

"Mom told me that much. You were on a case, weren't you?"

"We were."

"And this is the thanks she gets for following you?" Bill asked, taking long strides over to get a chair to sit on the other side of Scully. Mulder could have said many things to that, but he couldn't. After all, he had been saying the same thing to himself not long ago.

Nothing was said after Bill sat down, but sleeping Maggie sensed the tension in the air. Her eyes fluttered open, and she could hardly believe who she saw in front of her.

"Billy?" she asked sleepily. It could have been a dream, after all. Her son was stationed in Japan until the end of the month. That's why she hadn't wanted to call him when she found out.

"Hi Mom," Bill said, instantly turning his voice softer.

They reached across Scully's body and held hands.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, Mom."

"You got here as quickly as you could."

"How bad is she hurt?"

The question drove a knife through Mulder's heart.

"Bill…" Maggie started, not sure how to continue. She looked at Mulder for reassurance, but she didn't know her son's feelings toward the man.

"Mom, whatever happened, you can just tell me. I'm sure I can handle it," Bill said rather harshly, not wanting her mother to draw the slightest ounce of strength from the asshole who flipped a car on his sister.

"Billy, we're not sure yet," Maggie said, dabbing her eyes with her sleeve, "We don't know what's going to happen. She has a lot of head trauma. But I know your sister, and she will wake up. The thing is, though… when she wakes up…" she could not take it anymore. Mulder had to move out of the way when Bill came over to comfort his mother.

"Her legs…" was the last thing Maggie was able to get out. While holding his mother, Bill Scully lifted the sheet that was covering his baby sister's legs. And what he saw horrified him.

"You did this," he spat at Mulder, who had to look away from his partner's lower half.

"Bill--"

"No, Mom. I want him out of this room. I want him out of our lives! Dana is in this bed because of him! If it weren't for him, she would be up and running around without having to worry about aliens or cancer or children that she doesn't remember giving birth to--"

"Bill, that's enough!" Maggie shouted, and she really had shouted. Mulder felt lower than shit.

"Get out of here," Bill finally glared at Mulder. His voice was low and threatening, like the blackest clouds before a storm. And Mulder knew that if he didn't leave, there would be trouble.

"William Carl Scully!" Maggie yelled, using his full name. It wasn't about Maggie now, though, or even Scully, for that matter. It was about Bill and Mulder. And because he had respect for Dana, not Bill, Mulder swallowed his pride and left the room.

* * *

"Agent Mulder?" Mulder heard a little while later, after he had tried sleeping, then reading, then starting off into space. None had worked. Now he was pacing the hallway outside Scully's room.

Mulder looked up and found himself face-to-face with AD Skinner. Because the night couldn't get any worse…

"Sir," Mulder nodded, not feeling up to the talk that was about to ensue. Fortunately, Skinner sensed that. And he knew that no lecture he gave could possibly make him feel as bad as he did at the moment. He was aware that Mulder put Scully's life ahead of his, and that scared him.

Skinner sighed a small sigh for the poor man.

"Why aren't you in there with her?" he ended up asking. Something had to be up, because not much could hold Mulder back from Scully. Not even a frozen wasteland.

"Her family… I didn't want to intrude," Mulder sort-of lied. He had to keep some dignity. He hadn't showered, shaved, or changed clothes in a few days. The only thing that had been on his mind for it seemed like too long was Scully. Will Scully live? Will Scully wake up? Will Scully walk again? Mulder knew he didn't have much dignity left to hold on to, but he had to pretend like he had some.

"Do you think it would be alright if I stopped in there for a moment? If not, I'll just leave these with you," Skinner told him, and Mulder noticed for the first time that he was holding a bouquet of flowers. Flowers that Scully might never get to see. Was it the thought that counted?

"I think that you would be a breath of fresh air into that room," Mulder said, suddenly feeling very sarcastic. The AD frowned at him, but decided to let it slide. He looked like he hadn't slept in a few.

"Then I'll just be a minute," he turned to walk in, but stopped, "And Mulder… get some rest."

Mulder had never been one to obey the Assistant Director's rules to a T. He nodded as if that was the day he would change that. But he wouldn't. Sleep wasn't in him.

A lot of things were gone, and he felt empty.

* * *

"_Breathe, Scully, breathe!" Mulder yelled to his still-unconscious partner. They weren't at the hospital, though. They were back in Antarctica, on the ship. Scully was covered in a slimy green liquid, and she was freezing cold. She had stopped breathing. Just when they needed to get out, she was dying on him. A surge of confidence ran through Mulder as he remembered the last time. She had lived. He had known what to do._

"_Breathe, Scully!" he repeated, giving her mouth-to-mouth. Something wasn't right, though. Things weren't happening like they had last time. Instead of taking a glorious breath of air, Scully remained still and was turning blue. Mulder felt her soul draining from her body, and he mentally pleaded with her to hang on._

'_Please, Scully, please, don't leave me here. Don't leave me,' he begged much like he had when he pulled her out of the car. It had worked then. _

_It took a few minutes after Scully was dead for Mulder to latch onto the fact that she was. A part of him knew he would never really come to terms with that completely, but at that moment, as his partner's life was taken from her, he knew his was too. That was how it would happen. That was how Mulder knew he would die…_

He woke up sobbing. A few people walking by, mostly nurses, had noticed this and were concerned for the man they had not seen leave the hospital since that woman was brought in. Mulder felt pathetic as he wiped the tears from his eyes. Sleep had never provided him the escape that some people sought.

"Sculllyyyy," he cried into his hands. The tears flowed out like a river, through his fingers and dripped onto his pants.

"Why don't you call her by her first name?" he heard a harsh voice next to him. Mulder whipped his head around to find himself looking into Bill Scully's cold, hating eyes once more. He wiped the tears away.

"She's my partner. I call her Scully, she calls me Mulder," he tried to explain, but there was so much more to it than that. So much more.

"Well call her Dana. They call me 'Scully' on the boat," Bill said, and Mulder would oblige.

"How long have you been out here?" Mulder asked.

"Long enough to know that you weren't having the best dream. I came out here after your boss left and Mom said she wanted some time alone with Dana."

"Bill, you have to know I never intend for these things to happen."

"But they do. I have no reason to doubt Dana, but when she's around you, I get scared for her."

"You don't have to be scared for her. I try to protect her."

"No, see, Mulder, Dana doesn't want to be protected. She never has. That's a lot of the reason why she's done some of the things she's done in the past. She's independent. Anything anyone does to make her feel less than that, even if it's in her best interest, only makes her act out more."

"She doesn't _act out_, Bill."

"What do you think this FBI thing was? And now she can't leave because she doesn't want to leave you," Bill stared at him coldly. Mulder never wanted to feel before that he was keeping Scully tied to the bureau, but there had been a number of times she had stayed only for him. He couldn't even count how many times he had been the only thread tying her to their work. He was a thread that couldn't be severed.

"She's abandoned everything she ever worked for in her life for a basement office with you," Bill felt it important to add. But Mulder had some things to say, too.

"Now I can see why she worries so much about me being alone at Christmas," Mulder said rather sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your sister and I may get into a lot of fights and have our days, but I would never underestimated her ability to make decisions."

"I'm not--"

"You are. What you just said… look, Bill, I'm a psychologist and I know that you are worried about Dana's ability to make decisions. Because what she did when she joined the FBI was so out of character for her. You want to blame somebody--me-- for keeping her there because you can't fathom that she would want to stay there anyway. You can't imagine her doing something like that. And when it comes down to it, when you get the slightest hint that Dana may actually _want_ to stay down there in the basement with me, you make it your goal to convince her of how wrong she really is. In so many words, you try to tell her that she can't make decisions; that she is an idiot. And I happen to know that she can and she most certainly isn't."

"No, no, no. You're twisting my words around. You know you're better than me at this mind-reading stuff, so you try and twist it all around to be my fault. No, Mulder. I didn't crash that car into a tree."

Mulder had to take a deep breath at that one to try an ease the pain. Bill didn't know that for the rest of his life, Mulder's mind would play that scene over and over again.

"She hates it when you're like this…" he said, looking down at the floor.

"What?"

"She's told me before. Every phone call, every dinner with the family, every Christmas, Easter, birthday party… Dana's told me all about them and how she hates it when you get defensive."

"That's none of your business."

"It's usually me you two fight about, correct?"

"Yes, okay? Yes, we fight about you. Yes, I get defensive because she knows I think she doesn't know what she wants. But do you blame me? Look at how many times she's been so close to losing her life! I already lost one sister, Mulder, because of you and your quest. Put yourself in my shoes."

Mulder never thought he would see Bill Scully cry, but the man sat before him, doing just that.

"I know you don't mean to hurt her," he continued again after awhile, "but you do. And that is why I hate you."

"I understand," Mulder had to say, because he felt that since their father had died, Bill had to look at Dana in a different light. She hadn't asked him to, but he had stepped into the roll her father once played. It would be him to walk her down the aisle, so it would be him that would kill anyone who put that future in jeopardy. Mulder did understand.

"You couldn't."

"No, I do. But I also have to ask you to think about it another way. Bill, every time you ask her to quit her job, or you make an ignorant comment, or you criticize me, you hurt your sister. And that is why I hate you. But unlike you, I am going to keep my emotions under control for your sister and your mother and the rest of your family. Because we can't hate each other without hurting them, and they love us both. And I don't want either of us to hurt them and just have the whole thing go in circles."

Bill didn't comment back, actually seriously thinking about everything Mulder had said. Like it or not, if he stood at Dana's bedside for as long as he had without leaving, and spoke the way he did of his baby sister, it was pretty clear he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Bill would have to live with the fact that he would be in Dana's life. He sighed.

"It's going to take a long time, Mulder. But I think that the most important thing right now is that we're both there for Dana and that don't make this situation any harder on her."

Mulder agreed. They combined forces, much like the U.S. and the Soviet Union had in WWII. Not because they were allies, but because they were united toward a common goal.

_Scully has a lot to get used to when she wakes up,_ Mulder said to himself, and almost laughed for the first time in days.


	7. Chapter 7

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

_oh you dear sweet fanfic readers. how sorry i am that i am starving you of this story as well as my others. i will make it up to you, hopefully, with this chapter and more like it._

* * *

There wasn't much left to say after their unspoken union began, but neither one of them was going to be the first to leave. It was a classic alpha-dog struggle. Mulder and Bill both wanted the other to know who was in charge. So they sat there. In silence. Until Maggie Scully came rushing out of the room in hysterics.

"Billy! Fox, come quick! Dana's waking up!" she cried, hardly understandable. Then she rushed back into the room, leaving the door open. Mulder was at a vantage point where he was able to squeeze through the door first, but it didn't really matter. Scully was writing beneath her mother's touch.

"We need a doctor in here!" Bill called out the door. He watched his baby sister squirm and struggle with herself, trying to wake up but not fully succeeding. She looked like she was in pain.

The doctors pushed everyone out, except for Maggie, who wouldn't budge. Mulder and Bill didn't need to talk as they circled each other in the hallway. Mulder's mind was racing. Finally, after three days, Scully was waking up. She was pulling through for him. Not just all for him, he knew, but he was proud of her. His strong, willful, full-of-life Scully. She was waking up.

* * *

"I can't take this anymore," Bill said after three hours, and stormed into the room.

"Mr. Scully," the doctor addressed him. He was sitting by Dana's bed, explaining something to her. Mulder knew what. He could see inside her room, and he could see her tear-streaked face. He could feel her pain from across the hallway.

"Bill, please be patient," Maggie started, "Dr. Reinan is… going over things with Dana," she whispered, coming to the door and closing it.

"I need to be in there. I want to see Dana," Bill told his mother quietly. She shook her head.

"In a little bit, Billy. Just wait, alright?" she told him like he was a child. He had a childish look in his eyes. He didn't understand why he wasn't getting his way.

A few minutes later, the doctor came out of the room, looking like he hated himself for doing his job. Mulder had seen that look before. The "cancer" look. The "infertile" look. A look he would never give Scully.

"Okay, Bill, you can come in," Maggie said, opening the door for her son. When Mulder got up, though, he was stopped.

"I'm sorry, Fox. She said she doesn't want to see you right now. She said she'll talk to you later…" it pained Maggie to tell the man that had been completely devoted to her daughter for the past 72+ hours. Mulder looked like he had just been hit in the hand with a ruler. Why wouldn't Scully want to see him? Didn't she know that he held her and ruined his jacket for her and _prayed_ for her?

"Uhh, it's okay," Mulder said, trying to hide his disappointment. Maggie grabbed his hand.

"I think she wants to talk to you alone," she said, so that it wouldn't seem like her daughter was mad at him.

"Alright," Mulder agreed, sitting back down on the couch that was starting to smell like him. He didn't smell good. All for Scully. And she didn't even want to see him.

One of the worst things about it all was that when he had been rejected from the room, Bill had smiled like the Cheshire cat. Right as they were starting to go somewhere…

"Agent Mulder?" he heard from the nurses' station. It wasn't a nurse, though. It was a tall, red-headed man. With blue eyes… and a tiny nose.

"Yes?" Mulder asked, not sure if he should be scared or relieved when he realized who that was.

"I'm Charles Scully," he said, walking over and stretching out his hand. Mulder shook it, but was still nervous, based on his history with the Scully males.

"It's nice to meet you," Mulder came up with.

"Same here. Could you tell me where I can find my sister's room? My mom called me, but this is the soonest I could get here--"

"She's right through those doors. She's… she just woke up not long ago, and your family is in there with her."

"She woke up? Mom said the car accident was bad… she's awake? Oh my God, that's amazing!" Charles exclaimed, hugging Mulder because he couldn't help it.

"It is…" he said, trying not to sound too solemn. Charles let go and rushed to his sister's door. Maybe he had expected Mulder to follow him or something, because when he didn't, he looked back, confused.

"Aren't you coming in?" he asked.

"No. She… she needs to be with you guys. With her family."

"How long have you been partners?"

"Six years--"

"You're family," Charles said, grabbing his hand. Before Mulder knew what was going on, he was standing in the room with him. And Maggie. And Bill. And Dana, who didn't want him there.

"Charles?" Maggie asked in disbelief. He rushed over to his mother and hugged her tightly, just like Bill had.

"Hey Danie," he greeted his sister with a kiss on the cheek. Scully was a mess. She looked like she had just woken up from a very bad dream.

"Charlie," she whispered, grabbing the hand that he offered to her. Mulder actually thought that he could sneak out quietly before anybody noticed that he was there. But he was wrong.

"Fox, is something the matter?" Maggie asked, noticing he looked pale and unsure.

"Would you like me to show you the door?" Bill asked, and Maggie shot him a look.

"No, it's okay, I was just--"

"Mulder," Scully called to him. It wasn't a cry, like she had cried before they crashed. It was a call. She called him over to her. And he couldn't refuse her.

"Hey," he said softly, leaning in and letting his lips linger on her forehead. He had to feel her. He had to make sure that she was there; that she was alive. He had been so scared that she wouldn't make it.

Scully had closed her eyes and was relishing in the warmth of her partner's kiss. It always slowed her down; it always made her feel lucky. Lucky to have him as a partner, despite what her brother and the rest of the bureau said. Mulder would have cried if he knew what she was thinking. She was feeling lucky, even though she was sitting in the hospital, and she had just been told she may never walk again.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, and she felt him laugh against her forehead.

"For what?" Mulder asked with the most confused look on his face. Just when he thought he knew what she was going to say, she came up with something totally unexpected. She always kept him guessing. She always kept him wanting more.

"I didn't… I told you to stay out."

"I'm okay. I'm more than okay, Scully, now that you're awake."

"But you haven't gone home. I knew you wouldn't go home."

"No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't abandon you."

"I'm sorry I almost left you."

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

The scene before her was making Maggie Scully's eyes fill with tears. She had never seen her daughter connected with anyone so completely. Not one person was able to get the emotional response out of her that Mulder was able to. It made her sad that they didn't know how much they loved each other. Or maybe they did, but they didn't say it.

Sometimes just knowing isn't enough.

"Come on, boys. Let's leave them alone," Maggie told her sons. She knew Charlie would understand, but Bill glared in Mulder's direction. Still, he followed her out the door. He would not make the situation any worse. For Dana: for her legs and her heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**disclaimer: not mine... yadda yadda... don't sue**

* * *

Mulder sat down and took Scully's hand again, making sure to stay connected with her just like in the ambulance. He hoped she knew he had never left her. That maybe that in itself had helped her to hang on. But the fact was that she had hung on, and Mulder could care less about what she had really been hanging on to.

"The doctors, Mulder…" Scully started to say but couldn't finish. Tears were filling her eyes, and it was hard to let them go. It was hard to keep them in, too.

"I know, Scully. I know who they are and I know what they told you," Mulder tried to explain, wishing that he could have had a few more minutes to relish in the fact that Scully had lived instead of having to deal with her condition right away.

"Don't listen to them, Mulder," she told him, eyes focused and clearing.

"Scully--" was all he could muster out. He was surprised at her sudden willfulness, and then again he wasn't. Of course he wanted to tell her that she would no doubt walk again. But the fact was that he couldn't. Mulder couldn't lie to Scully about something like that.

"Please, Mulder. Don't listen to them. Don't listen to a word they say. I'm a doctor, Mulder. And I say that I'll walk."

"Scully, I know you're determined. But you can't… it's going to take some time."

"I know. I know it's going to take time and I'm going to have to work. But don't believe a word of what those doctors tell you. They want me to give up. I'm not giving up and I am going to walk. I promise."

"Scully…" he said, closing in and kissing her once more, "you don't have to promise me anything. I know you, and I have faith in you. Now, it's late and you're looking a little flushed. Just close your eyes and we'll talk about this later."

"I don't want to sleep, Mulder, I've been asleep for so long."

"It's not going to hurt you. You're not going to miss anything."

"But my mom and Bill and Charlie--"

"They'll be here when you wake up."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Neither aliens nor government conspiracies could pull me away."

They smiled but did not laugh. There were no laughs in them. They would return with her legs. He took her hand and kiss their entwined fingers.

"It'll be okay, Scully. You made it through and that's all that matters. You have no idea how proud I am of you," Mulder whispered to her as she closed her eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something, but sleep overcame her, and soon he was gazing at his dreaming partner. He had never been so connected to anyone in his life. She held his heart in her hand. He held her heart in his. It was a fair trade, but hardly one that could be taken lightly.

* * *

After awhile, Mulder realized that if he did not pull himself away from Scully, he would never be able to, so he made the dreaded trip out into the hallway to confront Maggie and her two sons.

"Hi," he smiled as he walked out of her room and shut the door quietly. He tried to look calm and peaceful, like he knew exactly what was going on. But he didn't, and he was glad he didn't.

"Hi Fox. Does Dana want to see us?" Maggie asked. She looked not the least bit upset that he had spent so much time with her daughter. It wasn't a robbery. In fact, Maggie felt like she owed the boy that time. Because of her son, because of his guilt, and because she regretted some things that had been said while he had not left her Dana's side.

"Actually, she's asleep, Mrs. Scully. But she wants to see you when she wakes up."

"How is she? Did you two talk about… what was happening?"

"Don't worry about her, Mrs. Scully. She's intent on walking. There is no other possible scenario in her mind."

"Are you sure that's not just a front?" Bill asked.

"I saw the look in her eyes. She really believes she can. And I have to see things the same way."

Nobody said anything. Once again, there was nothing to say.

"Fox, why don't you get some sleep. Lord knows you deserve it," Maggie reminded him. Mulder wrinkled his brow at the word. Lord. He had prayed to the Lord, and the Lord gave him what he wanted. But Mulder felt cheated somehow. Like he should have been more specific. Maybe, out there in the ditch, he should have asked the Lord to please let Scully live and wake up and be perfectly healthy. Maybe he should have asked Him not to take her legs. Was the Lord like a genie? Did he have to tell Him _exactly_ what he wanted? That was a rather bleak concept to Mulder. Still, as Maggie scooted over on the couch and he lay down his frame, he once again sent up a silent thanks.

_Thank you, God, for keeping her alive. I owe you one. And I'd like to apologize in advance for anything she may be thinking or any negative feelings she may have already sent your way. Give her time. She just found out. I know she has the strength in her, God, and I hate to bother you again, especially after all you've already done for me, but Scully needs to walk again. She can do it, and please bestow upon her the faith to believe it. She's a strong woman. She's my life. You already got that, though, didn't you?_

As his eyes closed, Mulder struggled to think of something better than that, or at least a conclusion to his all-too-personal prayer. He was actually getting used to the idea of prayer, but he knew he was doing it the wrong way. There were just some ways you did things, and he knew you shouldn't talk to God like He were your buddy. How he felt after he prayed was something more than he expected, though. He felt elated. Mulder felt that, for the first time since he had been in the hospital, he could rely on someone else to watch over Scully. Only for a little while. With that thought, Mulder closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

* * *

Physical Therapy.

Two words. One meaning: last chance. Last chance for Scully to walk again. Last chance for her to pick herself back up and continue being the person she was. The person who's heels he could hear clicking down the hallway in the morning, or the person who would walk elegantly by his side to a meeting.

This was the person Scully had been, and still was, in her mind. And she was tired of being treated like a baby doll.

So maybe the two words had more than one meaning. Another Scully added to her list was _dignity_. But this was her _last chance _at _dignity_, so it all simplified out. Either way, nobody knew the importance of the exercises more than Scully did. And, after three weeks, she was more than eager to get out of the hospital.

"You'll have to be in assisted living, Dana," her mother told her, "because your home is not set up to accommodate you."

Scully hated the sound of that. Her apartment couldn't accommodate her. Like she couldn't breathe air or she had just gained a massive amount of weight. Was it her fault that she moved into an apartment that was not wheelchair accessible? Like she knew she was going to be paralyzed from the waist down one day.

Furthermore, she wasn't that great in a wheelchair yet. Over the years, she had learned many things. How to diagnose and treat diseases in medical school. How to shoot a gun and be an FBI agent at Quantico. How to be one of the prime targets in an ongoing government conspiracy and put up with crappy motel rooms with Mulder and the X-files.

But no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she worked at it, Dana Scully could not maneuver a wheelchair. And she took that as a sign that she would walk again. The doctors and her family thought it was depression when she told them she didn't want to go for a walk (funny expression) down the hall to practice with her wheelchair. She'd rather stay in her bed, watching the muscles in her legs wither away.

There was still a question of where she would live, though. The sad truth was that, though she could breathe air and hadn't gained a massive amount of weight, her apartment couldn't accommodate her. If she went back there, she couldn't reach the counter from a chair. She probably couldn't get into the shower safely by herself, even though she would have tried her hardest. Her mom's house was tiny and had stairs that she couldn't climb. Charlie and Bill both lived in California.

For the first time in her life, Dana Scully knew what it felt like to be homeless.

"Ready to go home?" Mulder asked her, packing her suitcase (from the case that started this) for her.

Scully scoffed at this.

"Where is home?" she asked rhetorically. She didn't expect Mulder to answer her.

"Home is with me," he told her, unfazed, rolling up her socks the way she liked them rolled.

"Mulder, I appreciate it, but your apartment isn't really--"

"I didn't say anything about my apartment."

This is when Scully's brain went into overdrive. She hated it when Mulder was so cryptic. What was he going to do? Move into assisted living with her? She was quiet while she thought about this, and Mulder spoke up.

"Scully… I knew it was going to be hard for you when you got back home. I knew you couldn't live at your place, your mom's isn't big enough, and my place surely isn't the type of environment you need right now. So I took some drastic steps," Mulder explained.

"Like…? I need details here, Mulder."

"I wasn't going to tell you until we got back to DC, but… I bought a house."

Had Scully been drinking something, she would have spit it out. He bought her a house? No, he couldn't have. Mulder didn't have that kind of money. There were the estates his father left him in his will, but he wouldn't sell them. He wouldn't sell them to buy a house for her.

"Scully, say something please," Mulder said when his partner went pale.

"What can I say?" Scully asked, a little louder than she intended. But, really. The guy just bought a house for her. Was this some sick way of saying he was sorry? Was he still feeling guilty? Scully wanted to hit him so hard. After all they had been through in the hospital together. He still hadn't gone home over the past few weeks. He hadn't left her side once. And yet, he was still feeling guilty. Guilty enough to buy her a house.

"You can say you'll move in," he told her, like it was so simple.

"Mulder, I want to go home. _Home_, I want to go _home_. To my _apartment_. Where I live. I don't want to move into a house that I've never seen in my entire life! Really, Mulder, when did you even find time to buy a house? You've been here the whole time!"

"I had Skinner help me. He sent me pictures. I know you want to go home, Scully, but you can't right now…" Mulder almost pleaded, not understanding why she wouldn't just move in. It was a decent house. In Benning, not far from the bureau. It was a ranch, because a two-story seemed a little redundant. Also, a previously wheelchair-bound couple had lived there, so everything was wheelchair accessible. It was in a relatively nice neighborhood, it had a nice yard, a garage…

It was the perfect house. And Scully didn't want it.

"Mulder…" Scully said, putting her head in her hands. She couldn't believe him. All of the cases they had been on, all the weird things he had proposed, and this was what was unbelievable about him.

Still confused, Mulder knelt down to the bed level.

"Scully, if you don't want it, I can sell it. It's just, I thought it'd be a lot easier if you had somewhere to come back to. I wanted to make the transition as easy as possible. I'm sorry for assuming you would move in. I should have talked to you first."

Mulder kissed her on the cheek and got up to leave the room, but Scully grabbed his hand.

"Thank you," she stated simply, pulling his hand to her lips. The weight of the situation had just disappeared, and she felt lucky to have a friend like Mulder. He bought a house for her.

"I really am sorry," Mulder said once again.

"Don't be. Not until you pick out wallpaper with me," Scully told him, smiling her wonderful Scully smile that had been missing lately.

It was official. They were roommates.


	10. Chapter 10

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

* * *

"Keep your eyes closed, Scully," Mulder whispered in her ear as they approached the house. Too late, though. Scully had already heard her mother gasp. Mulder wouldn't notice if she opened her eyes a little bit, would he? After all, he towered above her as she was confined to that stupid chair. The reason she had to keep her eyes closed in the first place.

"No peeking!" Mulder warned, knowing what Scully would pull. She thought he didn't notice her since he was all the way up where he was and she was all the way down there, but nothing could be further from the truth. If at all possible, he noticed her more.

"I'm not, I'm not," Scully brushed off, closing her eyes for real this time. Her mom put her hand on her shoulder.

"Oh Dana," was all she could say. It must have been a looker.

"Okay, you can open them," Mulder told her when they had wheeled right up to the front door. Scully did, as fast as she could. Then she gasped, just like Maggie had.

First of all, she was placed right in front, but there were no stairs. A nice ramp led all the way up to the white French doors. The outside was every woman's dream. Nice flowerbeds with beautiful bushes. A two-car garage. The siding was white, the roof was gray. The windows were all perfectly positioned, all of them taking in the sun exactly the way they were meant to.

"Skinner didn't pick out this house, Mulder," she felt it important to add. He laughed.

"I was surprised myself when I saw the pictures, but it's true. Good 'ol Skinman found this one on his own. Do you want to go inside?"

Scully was like a kid in a candy store, and wheeled herself up the ramp as fast as her mediocre skills allowed her. She didn't fear, though. Mulder was behind her, and he wouldn't let anything happen. When she got up to the door, he handed her the key.

It was funny, for a moment. On her key ring, she had car keys (which would not be used for awhile), but she also had Mulder's key. And he had her's. Now they would share a key.

The first thing that hit Scully when she walked in was the space. Living in an apartment for most of her adult life, she forgot the spaciousness houses offered. When she rolled herself in, there was a mudroom to her right, which led to the garage. In front of her was the living room, bathed with sunlight coming in from the windows. The halls were wide, and the carpet compact, so she could still have carpet and not worry about ruining it with her chair. Behind the living room was a fairly large kitchen, with a counter that overlooked the dining room. Coming off the kitchen was a hallway, which led to three bedrooms and a bathroom. There was a back door in the dining room, which led to a backyard. She had a backyard now. She had always wanted a backyard.

Tears finally started to fill her eyes once she was finished with her tour of the house. She forgot, for a moment, that it was Mulder's first time seeing it as well. Had she not known that, she would have thought he picked out the house especially for her. It was perfect.

"You like it?" Mulder asked when he saw his partner's tears. If she had been able to stand up, Scully would have kissed Mulder, but she just grabbed his hand and held it to her cheeks. It was the most she could do.

"Fox, this house is beautiful," Maggie said, coming out of the master bedroom. When she saw her daughter crying, Maggie wanted to cry as well. This man, Fox Mulder… she could not even express the kind of love he had just displayed. Purely unselfish love. He had moved out of his apartment and bought a house for Scully with his own money so that she would have somewhere to live when she got out of the hospital. All the while he had never even left her daughter's side.

"Again, thank Skinner," Mulder said humbly.

The issue was dropped for awhile; both women knew that Mulder was uncomfortable with the praise.

"And, Scully, I hired some help to come in. Before you protest, they're only part-time, and they're just here to help you out a little with the house. I'm not going back to work until we're settled in, but when I do go, I want to know that you're going to be okay."

Scully didn't like the idea of help at all. But she wasn't going to say anything. Mulder really had thought of everything she would need.

"And I'll be here for you, sweetheart. I'm only a phone call away," Maggie felt it important to add. She knew her daughter wouldn't like to accept hired help.

"I know the house is a little plain right now, but our stuff is coming in soon, and we could paint it and--"

"Stop, Mulder."

"Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. Just… just stop. Just slow down. You already got me in, and I love this place. I'm not leaving. You've surprised me so much I'm just in overload right now," Scully explained. Mulder gave her a little smile. She was right. He was just so concerned with making her happy. With making her forget everything, even though it was what forced her to move into that house with him anyway.

"I just want everything to be perfect for you," he almost whispered to her, concerned that Maggie would take his side too much.

"It is perfect, Mulder, all of it. Please, just let me take it all in now."

Maggie was not stupid and took that as her cue to leave.

"Alright, kids, I'm going to go on home now. My answering machine is probably going to explode soon," she said, bending down to kiss her daughter.

"Bye Mom."

"Bye sweetheart. Goodbye, Fox," Maggie said, taking the man into her arms and kissing his cheek longer than she normally would have. This was her thank you to him. He deserved so much more, but that was all she could give him. He said goodbye, and Maggie showed herself out. At that time, Scully took a deep breath.

"Sooooo," Mulder said, not wanting to overstep his boundaries once again.

"I'm not mad at you, Mulder," Scully decided to make that clear.

"I know."

"And I don't blame you for this."

"I know."

"And I'm not going to mind living with you."

"I know."

"And I'm going to walk again, so don't think this is long-term."

Mulder smiled as she did. Yes. She was going to walk again. She was going to get her legs back. This wasn't going to stop her. It would take a hell of a lot more than a stupid car accident to stop Dana Scully. He started to wonder why he was even worried about her in the first place. In fact, it was as if Scully was just sitting in that chair by choice. Like she could get up and walk over to him at any second.

"I know," Mulder said quietly. There wasn't much more for him to say at that point. He wanted to tell Scully how happy he was that he had her in his life and what she meant to him. And how _proud _she made him. She made him so incredibly proud. Not even just after this. When she stood behind him and never left his side. When she ignored the jerks in the other bureau departments when they called her "Mrs. Spooky." When she listened to him and his stupid theories.

"Mulder, have you picked a bedroom yet?"

"No, why?"

They eyed each other, then raced to the back, each hoping to get the master.


	11. Chapter 11

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

* * *

The night became dark and cloudy very early. As they started to eat dinner (who would have thought that Mulder could make such a nice salad?) it began to rain, and they could hear the thunder in the distance.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," Scully told Mulder just as he cleared off the table. After her mother left, Scully had withdrawn, and Mulder irked to tell her that she wasn't putting him out, that this was his decision.

"Okay. Umm… do you need any help?" he asked hesitantly from the sink. Scully backed away from the table.

"No. I'll be alright. I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed."

"Alright. If you need anything, I'll just be out here."

It wasn't the first time Scully had taken a shower by herself, obviously. But it was the first time she would take a shower with the loss of her legs. She didn't know how it was going to work out, but she knew that she was going to do it by herself. She wasn't helpless.

First came her clothes. She had to get those off. The past few days had been the first in weeks that she had actually put on real clothes, not pajamas or hospital clothes, and she really didn't know how she was going to take off her jeans.

But it was going to happen.

And by some small miracle, it did happen. Scully had gotten undressed, and all she had to do now was turn on the water and find her way into the shower.

She found her footing, and it was all fine, but Scully reminded herself that next time, she would get in the shower before turning on the water, even if it sprayed freezing cold water on her for a minute.

The same person who was helping Scully get undressed was helping her to get in the shower, and she made it in without falling. There was a seat built into the shower, courtesy of the couple who lived there before her, and she navigated toward that. Except, the small journey from her chair to the seat had left her exhausted, and she just sat there for a moment.

Scully didn't know that Mulder was standing right outside the door. If she thought that he was going to just sit idly by while she tried to do everything by herself, she had another thing coming. He had bought a house for her for a reason.

Mulder sat there the whole time Scully was in the shower, until he couldn't hear the water anymore. He breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, all she had to do was get out and get dressed. The danger was coming to an end. Mulder knew he would get better throughout their time living together, but for now, he just had to worry.

The shower hadn't been as bad as she thought, and Scully found a lot more ease in washing herself sitting up. She was confident as she reached over to get her chair. She moved herself from the seat to the edge of the shower.

She thought she put the lock on the wheels. She didn't.

As she placed her hand in the middle of the chair to balance herself, it slipped out from under her, and Scully fell from the edge of the shower. She didn't know that Mulder was standing right outside the door, and that the sound of her body on the floor was the worst sound he had heard since she screamed his name in the car on that night so long ago.

Mulder found his partner, shocked, scared, naked, and on the ground in the bathroom. Without thinking twice, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to her bed. He didn't hear her fighting, telling him to put her down because she didn't have any clothes on. When he sat down on the bed, he kept Scully cradled in his arms.

"Scully, Scully, Scully, calm down," was all Mulder could tell her, brushing her wet hair from her face.

"Mulder, let me go!" Scully yelled, trying to squirm out of his arms. But what would she do if he let her go? She would fall to the floor and be in a worse situation than she was now.

"Scully, stop. Scully! I need to check to see if you're hurt!" Mulder told her, trying to be calm for her. He didn't even care that she was naked. She had been naked when he found her in Antarctica. Their relationship didn't need clothes.

"I'm fine, Mulder!"

"How did you fall?"

Scully was breathing heavily but had stopped thrashing around. Tears were starting to roll down her cheeks, and she was starting to feel like the helpless person she was trying to assure everybody she wasn't. She didn't answer him, instead just closing her eyes and letting whatever was going to come out, come out.

"Scully," Mulder said softly, watching her cry. He pulled her closer to him and rocked her back and forth gently. His heart lifted when she reached up and put her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder.

"I can't do this, Mulder," she sobbed.

"You can do this. You're strong."

"I can't do this. Not if I need help with the simplest little things."

"It won't be like this forever."

"It might be!" Scully said, revisiting herself in the hospital, being told that she may never walk again. Mulder was also thinking about the hospital, and how Mrs. Scully had asked him to keep her daughter strong. He never had any idea that it would be so hard. He didn't know how much he had depended on Scully throughout their partnership to keep him strong. Mulder squeezed his arms around Scully's tiny back, feeling the smooth skin that was her. She was still soaking wet, but he didn't care. He held onto her like he did when she was in the hospital with her cancer. He turned his head and kissed her ear, her cheek, whatever his lips could touch. If this was her life now, this was his life now, but it wouldn't be that way forever.

"I know that you will work hard to get back to where we were. But, Scully, if you never set one foot on the ground ever again, I wouldn't think any less of you. You've already proven yourself to me."

"I've always known how you feel about me, Mulder, but how am I supposed to feel? I'm Special Agent Dana Scully. And now I can't even keep myself from getting hurt in the shower."

"No matter what you need, Scully, I will help you. I will find some way to help you. I would drop everything. But you have to accept it. And you have to accept this. Not forever, but that will give you the strength to work toward something more."

"Why did this have to happen to me? I'm not a bad person."

"Scully… when I first carried you out of that car, I thought you were dead. And then you did die… but you came back. And I will never, ever ask for more than you just to be alive again. I will never ask for more, I have everything I need."

Scully pulled herself away from her partner, for just a second, so that she could kiss his cheek.

"I'm never going to leave you. I'm not going anywhere. You bought me a house! I could never thank you enough for all you've done."

"I'd do anything. You mean more to me than any house."

"Mulder, I need to walk again. And I want to start therapy as soon as I can."

"I'll get you the best help. Anything you need."

"All I need is you there to help me."

"I can do that."


	12. Chapter 12

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

**thank you to lily for helping me get this out**

* * *

The first day Scully got to therapy, she knew she didn't want to go back. Not because it was a terrible, smelly place, but because she was determined to walk out of there that afternoon.

First, she met her trainers and physical therapists. The kind of people that she would only have to see once. The kind of people that were intent on creating a relationship with her because they were sure they were going to see her more than once.

Then she got an overview of what type of therapy she would be receiving. The center specialized in individual care, but she had some group classes that she would be taking. Mostly the exercises that she would do when she first arrived, for that one and only time. She didn't get to know any of the people around her. She would only see them once.

"When do I get to walk?" Scully asked her primary therapist, Dr. Fischer, after she was done with all the sitting around and tired of the spiritual journey everyone else seemed to be on. Mulder knew how she felt. It was almost exactly how it had been at his house after Samantha had been taken. Everyone wanted to sit around and speak about how great God was and how precious his sister was, but not one of those people went outside to look for her. She was tired of all the talk. She wanted some action.

"Dana, we're going to try the bar at the end of every session, but we're going to take it one step at a time," Dr. Fischer told her. This didn't satisfy her, and Mulder saw her leap from her wheelchair and stand up to her full size in his mind, to slap the man.

"I don't understand why we can't just work at the bar," Scully voiced, though she was a doctor, and deep down, she knew why they couldn't just work at the bar, and that this wouldn't be the last time she would ever see this place, these people, and she would be forced to listen to their talk more than once. She would have to develop relationships, learn names and faces, and get used to the environment. Because she was coming back.

"It's not that simple, Dana," Dr. Fischer said, but stopped because they were by the bars. The very bars where Scully was determined to take her first steps in over two months that day.

"_It's Dr. Scully,"_ Scully spat at him coldly, reaching for the bars. Dr. Fischer tried to stop her, and even though she was temporarily paralyzed, there was no restraining Dr. Scully. Mulder couldn't do anything. He felt just like he did back at the night of the accident; he could only watch her.

Scully was thankful that she had strong arms, and she lifted herself out of her chair and held herself up on the bar. Since he could not stop her, Dr. Fischer tried to become a protective shield around her. But Scully did not want that. That was like putting her in a cage. And the doctor didn't understand how much she needed to walk.

Mulder could only watch as Scully held herself there, not moving but wanting to. She strained and fought with herself, fighting with everything inside to get her legs to move. They wouldn't, though. Her legs would not move for her, and Scully was betrayed by this.

"Move…" she told them, as if saying it meant that she could do it.

"Scully…" Mulder said, feeling her despair. He came up behind her and put his hands under her arms to lift her up.

"NO!" she shouted when he made the gesture.

"Scully, it's useless."

"Go away, Mulder. I can't let you think that way. I can't hear those things. It's _not_ useless. It's _not_ impossible. I'm. Going. To. Walk!" she yelled, punctuating her words, her face growing red with effort. And then she simply decided to trust herself. She put her feet on the floor and willed them forward…

Mulder was there to catch her as she fell to the ground.

"Go away! Go away, Mulder! I don't need you! I'm going to walk! I'm going to walk… stop holding me back! I'm going to walk!" Scully screamed as he lifted her up gently. Tears were streaming down her flushed face, but she could care less. She wanted to walk. She needed to walk. She needed to prove that she could do it. She wasn't useless or doomed to a wheelchair forever. She was Dana Katherine Scully, independent, strong, self-sufficient…

And she needed Mulder to lift her up off the floor.

"You're going to walk, Scully," Mulder whispered to her, "but it's going to take time. You need to get stronger. Don't worry, Scully. I know it, you'll walk. You'll walk." He said those things with as much desperation as she had. He would love her and be there for her all the same if she couldn't walk. But she was his Scully, and he couldn't see her in a chair. He couldn't see her never standing up to find herself neck-level with him again; he couldn't see her never walking through their office door again. He would love her the same if she couldn't, but he couldn't imagine a world where she couldn't.

He couldn't imagine a world where she had screamed, causing him to swerve and hit a tree with her pinned up against it.

He couldn't imagine a world where he had not left her side for a month, watching her progressively get better and worse at the same time.

He couldn't imagine a world where she had set her feet on the floor and they had betrayed her by not moving forward.

He couldn't imagine it, but he had lived it.

And that was what scared him (both of them) the most.

* * *

She didn't speak to him all the way home. Like he was the one who caused her legs to betray her and make her fall. There was no one to blame, and Mulder took it upon his shoulders with the most grace he could.

"Scull--"

"--don't."

"Scully, you didn't do anything wr--"

"--I said don't. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't be worried about me. Don't ask if I'm okay."

And even though they weren't far from their home (their home), Mulder pulled over to the nearest rest area and stopped the car. Somewhat against her will, because she was too surprised to really fight back, he lifted Scully out of the car (sans-wheelchair) and took her over to a picnic table, where he held her close to him.

"Mulder! What the hell?"

"I know you're ashamed," he said, and that made her go quiet. Scully hadn't known it until right then, but she was ashamed. Not mad. Ashamed. Of herself. Of her legs.

"Mulder…"

"And throughout this whole thing I've tried to keep from profiling you. Tried to keep from discerning how you really feel about all this. Because you always keep me guessing, Scully. But that's it! You always keep me guessing. There is never anything real and concrete between us. And you have to trust me now. We have to trust each other."

"Mulder," she started, the tears coming down without her consent, "don't you know I trust you? Don't you know that what we have is real and concrete and that through all of this, you have been the only one I wanted?"

"Stop double-speaking, Scully. This is why we're here. We're going to get down to the point."

"I just… I can't let you see me… like this."

"If you're going to show anyone, why don't you show me?"

Scully didn't have an answer for that. There wasn't an answer for his particular question.

"Look, Scully, I know what you're feeling. I don't know how you're feeling, but I know what you're feeling. You're looking over your life. Looking over all the things that you did instead of doing something else. And I know you hate yourself for most of your choices. But your choices led you to me. They led you to me, who was looking for the other half of his soul. So you sit there, and you curse yourself because you chose a career and you don't have kids. Now you can't walk and at the very least, you wonder if you'll ever find someone to love you for who you are; who you may be for the rest of your life. But Scully… you've already found him."

And there is was. Out in the open. Something they'd kept under the carpet for so long, Mulder dared to bring into the light. It burned, but it shone more beautifully than anything they had ever seen.


	13. Chapter 13

**disclaimer: not mine, don't sue**

**at last...**

* * *

There was sun streaming through the stained glass windows. White everywhere. Her family and friends smiling when they saw how pretty she looked. How much she deserved this. The flowers in her hair. The dress she wore.

Scully was wearing shoes, and the man she loved did not know that she couldn't have gone barefoot.

Her wedding day. The day she had been dreaming of since she was a little girl. The day she never thought she would get to see.

"Dana, it's almost time to get started. Are you ready?" her mom asked. They were at the church, in a small room designed just so that brides-to-be could get ready. Scully was at the vanity, making finishing touches on herself. Nothing was not going to be perfect today. But she knew that if she did what she planned to do, there was no way it couldn't be perfect. Even if everything else went wrong.

"Mom? Do you think I can do this?" she asked, wheeling herself away from the mirror and meeting her mom after she shut the door.

"You can do anything, baby. I've never doubted you once."

"But this, Mom… do you really think I'd be a good wife?"

Maggie laughed.

"Fox thinks so."

"He loves me, though. He loves me so much he wouldn't be able to see if I weren't good for him. He wouldn't be able to tell how much we'd drive each other crazy."

"You two already drive each other crazy. That's how I know it'll work."

"I don't want to let him down," Scully whispered, almost crying. She let her head fall so that her mother wouldn't see the tears that we about to come.

"Dana," Maggie started, tilting her daughter's chin upward, "you could never, ever, ever let that man down. I was there, sweetheart, when you were gone and when you were sick. And when you got hurt… there have been times, Dana, when he was sure that you weren't going to make it. But you did. Every time. And he's so proud of you. You've already proven yourself to him. There is nothing you could do that would make him think any less of you."

"What if… today, when I'm coming down the aisle…?"

"He'll be right there waiting for you."

A sudden calm washed over Scully. Mulder was her's. For life. She knew that the second he proposed. Actually, she knew the second she walked into the basement. He couldn't have said it any more clearly than he did that day at the rest stop all those months ago. She was the other half of his soul. And he was her's. And that's just the way it would be forever.

She didn't even have a hard time believing that he would want to spend the rest of his life with someone in a wheelchair anymore. Their relationship didn't need legs, just like it didn't need clothes.

"Come on, let's not make them wait any longer."

* * *

Mulder stood at the altar, his heart racing. He knew Scully wouldn't leave him, but irrational fears were taking over at this point. To him, she had changed her mind. She didn't want to get married anymore. She wanted to be with someone who hadn't heard her scream and swerved and carried her from an upside-down car so that she could die then live then die again. He was scared that she wanted to be with someone who hadn't taken her legs from her.

But then the music started. Tara helped Matthew, the ring-bearer, down the aisle. Charlie's little girl, Caitlyn, was the flower girl. And the bridesmaids came. All four of them, and he turned to smile at the Gunmen and Charlie. Then came Maggie, escorted by Skinner.

It hurt when the wedding march started playing and everyone stood up. It was a mockery to Mulder. It was an insult to Scully. But they stood, and Mulder could barely see the woman he loved being pushed down the aisle by her big brother through his tears. She was so beautiful. Her hair was pinned up and the veil hung down to her shoulders. Her dress was strapless and studded with crystals at the bottom. All in white, she was an angel, and Mulder didn't know how he had subsisted before he met her. It was as if then, at that very moment, his life only started to have meaning. Take thee Dana Katherine Scully, to love and to honor, to have and to hold, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health, 'til death. do. they. part. That was his purpose. That was his calling.

Everyone became confused as Bill started to walk slower. And they turned to look at each other when he came to a halt halfway down the aisle. The music kept playing, and a select few people's smiles became even bigger. Mulder's heart almost stopped in his chest. They were slowing down. Scully had changed her mind at the last second.

Bill offered his arm to his baby sister. And she took it, pulling herself up with the most grace anyone could ever perform that task with. She was expecting to collapse from all the adrenaline. Mulder's heart wasn't the only one acting strange. Instead, with Bill's guidance, Scully lifted up the end of her dress, looking at her feet, which were on the floor. After a sudden tilt, she regained her balance. She looked at Mulder, who could not believe what he was seeing. His face made her serene expression grow into one of sheer joy. And she looked down at her feet again. They would not betray her this time.

She took a step. And another. And another.

_She's walking! _Mulder told himself. His mind was screaming. _Scully's walking down the aisle!_

"Let go, Bill, let go," Scully told her brother after she had taken five tiny steps. She needed to walk to Mulder herself. This is what she had been working toward.

Tears started streaming down Mulder's face when Bill let her continue walking on her own. The entire crowd was in absolute awe. Most of them had never witnessed a miracle before.

_She's walking! She can walk! _Mulder was still in shock. But he snapped out of it quickly when his brain said, _She's walking to you!_

Mulder had been running before. But this was different. Running down the stairs to the woman who would walk for him… it was the most beautiful thought his mind could process.

Scully hadn't been walking long on her own when Mulder met up with her. But that was okay. She knew she'd do it again. She had proven that she could do it.

The second he could reach her, Mulder grabbed Scully and pulled her into his arms. Her feet weren't even touching the ground anymore, and his arms were wrapped as tightly around her waist as her's were around his neck.

The church suddenly emitted a loud cheer from the witnesses who had come to watch. Family and friends. No enemies. No danger. Everything was perfect when the halves of the one soul came together. As one. Scully's lips crashed down on Mulder's. _See? I did it. I did it all for you._

Maggie Scully had seen Fox Mulder beam with pride at her daughter. But all of those times failed to compare with this one. This was the most special thing she had ever witnessed.

They put their foreheads together, only Scully able to wipe Mulder's tears away. He wouldn't let her go. He probably couldn't if someone had asked him to.

"How long?" he asked. Nobody could hear them. Everyone was still cheering.

"A few weeks. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Believe me, Scully, this was the best surprise I've ever gotten."

"Me too. Well, right after your surprise proposal."

"Is this for real?"

"Yes it is. Why do you ask that now?"

"Because this can't be real, Scully. It's too good to be real. I must be dreaming."

"It has to be real, Mulder. Dreams aren't this good."

He kissed her again. She was right. She was always right, his Scully.

* * *

Later that night, Mulder and Scully came through the doors of the reception hall, hand in hand, shoulder to neck-area. He walked as slow as she wanted; he was her cane.

Scully couldn't stop dancing that night. She wouldn't sit down for anything, even insisting that Mulder hold her up to take the garter off. Anything. She did not want to leave the ground. And she lasted on the dance floor much longer than anyone else did. Even Mulder tuckered out before she did, and while he was sitting, his eyes couldn't help but follow her. His beautiful angel who had her legs back. She was glowing. She glowed while she danced with her nephews, her drunk uncles, Mulder's drunk uncles…

His heart was filled with happiness when he realized that he got to see that glow for the rest of his life.

And, because he was Mulder, his mind flashed back to that night. When he swerved to avoid hitting the maybe-deer and ended up flipping the car onto her back. He thought about how he thought he'd lost her. He thought about what it felt like to have her back.

Legless, but back.

He thought about their home, which they would soon be leaving. He thought about the bars at the smelly physical therapy place where her legs first betrayed her. He thought about the aisle in the church that afternoon, where her legs kept her upright. She did that all for him.

Tears came flooding back. This was too much for one person in one day. To go from thinking that the love of your life will never walk again to seeing her walk down the aisle _to you_, to marrying her and watching her dance and glow all night long.

It gave him more than enough energy to get back up and scoop up his new wife, careful that her legs stayed on the ground. And they started dancing, for maybe the 30th song that night. It felt like the first, though.

"I can't believe this Scully. Do you know how beautiful you are?"

"Mulder," Scully giggled. He could see her blush, and that made him want to kiss her more.

"You'll never know how much I love you."

"I think I will, Mulder. I think I do."

"I just want to explode. I feel like I'm going to."

"Well, when the tiny parts of your body all land on the ground, I'll be here to pick them up and glue them back together."

"That's why I married a doctor."

_That's why I married my best friend._

"I love you Mulder. For a long time I tried to keep myself from saying that, but I'm glad we finally did. I'm glad I love you."

"I'm glad a smart, beautiful, radiant woman like yourself could love a piece of work like me."

"Mulder!"

"Shhhh, Scully, this is my favorite part of the song…"

_I found a dream that I could speak to_

_A dream that I can call my own_

_I found a thrill to rest my cheek to_

_A thrill that I have never known_

_Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile_

_Oh, and then the spell was cast_

_And here we are in heaven_

_For you are mine_

_At. Last._

**at last**


End file.
